Equanimity
Family life can be so busy and it is easy to slip into a hurried and/or harried state. I hope some information about the concept of equanimity (much of which comes from the writings of Shizen Young) will help guide you through the ups and downs of the packed weekly routine.
Equanimity comes from the Latin word aequus, meaning balanced and animus meaning spirit or international state. In the physical world we say a person has lost balance if they fall to one side or another. In the same way a person loses internal balance if they fall into one or the other of the following contrasting reactions:
Suppression - A (internal or external) sensory experience arises and we attempt to cope with it by stuffing it down, denying it, tightening around it, etc.
Identification -A (internal or external) sensory experience arises and we fixate on it, hold onto it inappropriately, not letting it arise, spread, and pass with its natural rhythm.
Between suppression on one side and identification on the other lies a third possibility, the balanced state of non-self-interference...equanimity. Being with what is, rather than trying to change or alter the experience.
When you apply equanimity to pleasant sensations, they also flow more readily and as a result deliver deeper fulfillment. When you apply equanimity to unpleasant sensations, they flow more readily and as a result cause less suffering. The same skill positively affects both sides of the sensation picture.
You can also have equanimity with thoughts. You can let positive and negative thoughts come and go without push or pull. You can let sense and non-sense arise and pass without preferring one over the other. This will result in a new kind of knowing--a kind of wisdom function. Equanimity with thought allows you to work through the drivenness to think.
By definition, equanimity involves a radical permission to experience your senses and as such is the opposite of suppression. As far as external expression of feeling is concerned, internal equanimity gives one the freedom to externally express or not, depending on what is appropriate to the situation.